Becoming Your Beautiful

Angels

2011-12-20T21:54:00.000-08:00

Believers, look up - take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.Billy GrahamMy mind has continually been drawn recently to the service of those around me, in my behalf. Those individuals are truly angels in essence-- God's hands on earth. A few weeks ago, my husband woke up early and left the room for a little while. When he came back, he was shivering and commented on the low temperature outside. Still transitioning from a dream state, I did not comprehend his words until later. When I was getting ready to leave for work, I sighed at the thought of scraping my windows. Because of an injury, my lungs are very sensitive to temperature. I knew that they would hurt. But, when I saw my car that morning, I noticed that the windows were clear of frost just enough for my view to be undeterred. He had scraped the windows with hardly a coat on so that I would not have to stand too long in the cold. Being someone's angel is truly beautiful. :j

One of My Heroes

2011-06-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

“The life of a man consists not in seeing visions and in dreaming dreams, but in active charity and in willing service” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My younger brother can definitely be spotted out of a crowd because of his height, but to me, he also stands out for the size of his heart. Over a year ago, he was brutally beat up by some of his teammates. The beating up was so horrific that the boys that hurt him are currently being tried in court. It was also so traumatizing for him that he will not talk about it with those he loves.

Right after he underwent this horrible event, he and my sister were walking across a street by their high school when they were hit by a car. The driver left the scene immediately. After the police were notified of the hit and run, they tracked down the driver of the car. When he was identified, my brother and sister recognized that he was the father of a boy at their school that considered an outcast. The police told my siblings that they could choose whether to press charges or not. If you had been in my brother's shoes after experiencing a brutal assault and then being hit by a car, what would you choose?

This giant of a kid asked that no charges be pressed against this driver because he worried about what would happen to his son at the high school.

Having the ability to express concern for the welfare of another--even when you have been hurt--is truly an act of beauty.

Learning to Love

2011-02-12T00:38:00.000-08:00

"The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.”- Abraham Lincoln

There is a woman I work with every so often that seems not to like me. When I see her and try to say hello, she gives me an annoyed smile and continues on her way.For those of you that know me, you know that I am very friendly with people. So, when people I meet are not happy to see me, I sometimes do become a little sad. But, I realized that about 99% of the time, people are mean to us for two reasons:

1. They are currently struggling with an insecurity about themselves or are in emotional pain.

2. They do not truly know us.

When I realized these two things, I saw this woman in a different light than before. I set a goal right then and there to make her my friend.

These two thoughts also helped me today. For part of my job, I make phone calls to people that I usually only make contact with via technology. I spoke with a woman that was very upset that I would call her. I admit that it took me a few minutes to mentally recover from my conversation with her. But, as I was starting to really feel hurt, a voice inside of me said, "That is so sad that she is having such a difficult day that she had to release some of that stress on me." Upon hearing this, my feelings turned into sadness for that woman.

At that moment, I also did something else. See, whenever I meet someone, I pray for them. So, in praying for this woman, I prayed that her day would go much better and that somehow the stress she released on me would help her be able to handle her current struggles.

Now, I know and continue to remember that loving someone that does not reciprocate is very hard and sometimes requires a lot of patience. But, how many of us have offended our Savior in an act or thought and have been welcomed back into His arms? I am learning that in order to truly become like my Savior, I need to love as He loves. Becoming like the most selfless and loving person that ever lived is truly beautiful. :j

If Only You Could See

2011-02-12T00:26:00.000-08:00

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~
Kahlil Gibran

I once went on a double date with a couple that was being lined up for the first time. The woman was beautiful, smiled a lot, and seemed to be having a lot of fun with her date.

Toward the end of the date, this woman and I went to a locker room to change out of our sporting attire. I quickly got ready to return to my date when I noticed this woman staring at her reflection in the mirror. She would fuss with her hair, talk to me, and then fuss with it more and tell me how sloppy she looked.

After the date, I thought a lot about this incident. She was so worried about impressing her date that she forgot about letting her inner beauty shine through. To her, wherever she is, I say, "If you could only see the beauty you possess. Then, you would not fret about your physical appearance in front of others." It is my wish that all women and young women realize the beauty they already possess. Once they recognize their beauty, no one, thing, or incident can diminish that beauty. The confidence that comes from within is a beautiful thought. :j

Grace

2010-11-07T14:37:00.000-08:00

"For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do." - 2 Nephi 25: 23

When I was in high school, I ran on the cross country team. The way that cross country is scored is based upon individual and team points. The main runners on the team are the top five individuals on your team that cross the finish line. If one team has five individuals that cross the finish line before your five finish crossing the finish line, the other team wins. You could have a person on your team take first place overall, but your team would still lose if your fifth person crossed the line in last place. Therefore, there is a big responsibility for the fifth person.

My first year of cross country, I was the fifth runner on my team. My first year of XC, the coach of the team had predicted the best girls team he had coached in years. It was really my first year of running ever, and I worked hard to do my best.

Throughout the season that year, my team had done fairly well--beating out all of our competition fairly easily with the exception of one main competitor, the Trojans. The Trojans and my team and been neck and neck the whole season. As we entered state qualifiers, we were continually reminded of the importance of focusing to get in front of the Trojan runners.

The state qualifiers course was at Freeman Park. I had never run at Freeman, and it looked easy. It was only grass and a few hills. I thought that I would be able to run this course without a problem.

Being the novice runner that I was, I started sprinting when the gun went off. Sprinting for 3.1 miles for a novice runner is nearly impossible. I quickly found myself slowing down and in pain. What was even worse was to count the girls ahead of me from the Trojans. One, two...four, and finally, five girls from the opposing team were ahead of me. My coach encouraged me to go faster to get ahead of the Trojan girls, but I could not.

Tears fell my from my eyes as I painfully finished the race. The other top four runners from my team had finished in amazing time...and I had let them down. I was so upset that I left with my family before the results of the race were announced. I knew that I had caused my team to not qualify for the state race. As the park faded from view, I pondered my running mistakes and how those mistakes had hurt my entire team.

A few miles down the road, my cell phone rang. One of my teammates was on the line. All I heard was screaming and could barely make out the words that were being relayed to me. "WE...STATE! WE'RE GOING TO STATE!" I could barely keep my composure! How? I had counted the number of girls ahead of me...how?

Later that day, as I reunited with a few of my teammates, I told them of what I had seen and asked how it was possible for us to still go to state with my errors. To this day, I do not fully understand, but I was told that the number four runner on my team had done something that caused my team to have just enough points to beat out all of the other teams. It was because of the fourth runner that my mistakes were compensated for and we were going to state.

Years after this experience, I have constantly pondered how closely this story fits with that of the Atonement. In 2 Nephi 25:23, we are reminded that "it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do." In this life, we are all inexperienced runners trying to cross the finish line to qualify for exaltation. Since we are inexperienced, we fall short at times and make mistakes that can cause us to not qualify individually for our exaltation. But, it is through the grace available through the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ that our mistakes can be compensated for in order for us to qualify. If we turn to Him with a broken heart and contrite spirit, He will not only compensate but teach us how to improve. I am so grateful for the grace that helps me in all of my imperfection to have a chance to qualify for all of the great eternal blessings provided by my Savior.

Blessing

2010-11-07T14:18:00.000-08:00

"...A man may have great power given him from God. Thus God has provided a means that man, through faith, might work mighty miracles; therefore he becometh a great benefit to his fellow beings." - Mosiah 8:16, 18

A few days ago, I was really struggling with my illness, and I was wondering why I had been given this illness. I opened up my scriptures and found the scriptures mentioned above. Suddenly, my heart filled with gratitude. How blessed I feel to have this illness, for because I am experiencing it, I can help comfort those that are suffering from this illness, too.

My thoughts have since also turned to my Savior. Why did he suffer pains and sorrows in addition to sin? He suffered so that He could know how to succor His people. Through His infinity mercy and love, we, too, are blessed with opportunities to experience hardships so that we can be used by Him to help succor His. Having the ability to glimpse a small portion of what He has experienced and others experience is beautiful. :j

Helpless

2010-09-30T22:54:00.000-07:00

"...how great the importance to make these things known unto the inhabitants of the earth, that they may know that there is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah, who layeth down his life according to the flesh, and taketh it again by the power of the Spirit, that he may bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, being the first that should rise." - 2 Nephi 2:8

Ever felt helpless? I am currently being blessed to study the lives of women and children around the world. A week ago, I studied for days and was lectured for almost three hours about the misfortunes of millions of women world-wide. At the end of the lecture, I had a desire to go to Latin America and Sub-Saharan Africa to help change these misfortunes. But, a feeling of helplessness overcame me. I realized that I was just one individual wanting to change the lives of millions.

Then, my mind was drawn to my Savior. Although I cannot help every misfortuned woman, He can. He loves each of Heavenly Father's daughters and knows them by name. Through His help, we can help reach out to those around us to help their misfortunes and then rely on Him to help those we cannot see. How beautiful it is to have a Savior that suffered for each of our trials so that we could come to Him for help. After all, one of His names is Healer--which is beautiful. :j

Little Ones

2010-09-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

"Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven." - Henry Ward Beecher

The other day, I was thinking about my two little sisters, aged nine and five. These two little gals sometimes act their age with tantrums and sometimes stubbornness. But, these little girls have had to comprehend more heartache and pain than even I did when I was little, due to horrible things that have happened to our family members and friends. These two have had to grow up faster than they should have. It is a miracle that these little girls can STILL be little. I believe this is true for most little children these days. Before we criticize young children for acting their age, it is important to remember the world they are growing up in. Instead of wishing them to grow older faster, let us cherish the time they do have to be little, for that short amount of time is truly beautiful. :j

Looking to the Past

2010-04-05T16:57:00.000-07:00

“Every man is a quotation from all his ancestors.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

At the beginning of the year, I left work at my combustion lab on a Friday feeling ill. I thought I was coming down with something and remained sick for the rest of the weekend. Upon going back to work that next week, I had two people waiting for me in my office. There had been a dangerous chemical spill while I was at work the past Friday, and it was discovered that I had been exposed to this chemical for two hours. For the next couple of weeks, I was in and out of doctors' offices and had received multiple xrays to see the impact the exposure had on my lungs. Who knew that such tiny molecules could cause so much damage! :j

One night, I broke down and felt like giving in to my pains and sorrows. As darkness seemed to be getting thicker around me, a glimmer of hope appeared. That hope was from the memory of one of my ancestors over two-hundred years ago. See, my ancestor Lucy M. Smith became very ill at a young age and was told by doctors that she was going to die. Lucy had only given birth to a few children, and she yearned to stay alive. She prayed for help from her Heavenly Father and miraculously lived through her faith and determination. I realized that if Lucy could do it, I could, too.

At this moment, I learned a new concept on developing beauty. As we are striving to become our beautiful, it is so important to know that we are not in this quest alone. We have examples from our friends and also those that we descend from. There can be great strength and courage found in looking and learning about the lives of our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, etc. We can learn from their mistakes and triumphs. Learning to look the past for strength provides a beautiful opportunity. Someday, we may be the ones looked back upon. Let's conquer our trials beautifully. :j

Standing for Something

2010-01-24T20:43:00.000-08:00

“Courage is not limited to the battlefield or the Indianapolis 500 or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are the inner tests, like remaining faithful when nobody's looking, like enduring pain when the room is empty, like standing alone when you're misunderstood.”- Charles Swindoll

A few years ago, I was taking an honor's class. The teacher assigned us to read a book that sounded intriguing. Being excited to get into the book, I began reading it after class. Within a few chapters, I came to find that the book contained very descriptive passages of immorality.

Upon realizing these passages were in the book, I tried to avoid them. Still, I felt physically sick to my stomach because I knew that these passages stood against what I believed. So, I decided to take action into my hands by visiting with my teacher. He listened to what I had to say but ultimately nicely told me to deal with what I had to read. I was a bit stubborn and refused.

I chose to put my grade on the line and to not read the book. When quizzes would be given on the reading, I would not be able to answer the questions in full and thus lost a lot of points. But, at the end of that term, I received a 101% in that class. How?

There is something beautiful and real about believing in something and following through with your convictions. When we choose to stand for what we believe in, miracles happen. I can certainly attest.

Inspiring Another

2010-01-23T20:02:00.000-08:00

“If you treat a man as he is, he will remain as he is, but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be, and could be, then he will become what he ought to be, and should be.”- Goethe

There is an aspect of becoming beautiful that is one of the most vital jewels. This aspect is illustrated through an experience I was blessed with a few years ago.

I have a great uncle that had polio at a young age in his life. The polio greatly affected his health and now require him to use an oxygen machine in order to breathe. Although he is usually in a great deal of pain, an outsider would never be able to tell due to my great uncle's ability to love others and laugh.

A few years ago, he and I had a correspondence that changed my life. I was a member of a business club in my high school and would talk to him about his experiences of teaching business to high school students. One day, he said, "Emily, you need to run for state office in your business club." In hearing that comment, I laughed, for I did not think that I was capable of such a position. I took his words to thought, though, and decided that the least I could do was to look into the requirements for running for state office.

In the process of looking into the requirements, I came to the conclusion that I could try to run for office, and, though I would not win, I would gain some neat experiences from the effort. So, I submitted all of my paperwork and awaited news from the state office as to whether or not I would be able to run.

Within the next few weeks, I traveled across the state to attend a meeting with thousands of other high school students. At that meeting, they would announce who would be running for office, and the officer elections would be held. That night, they announced the names of those qualified to run--and my name was called.

The next few days, I attended additional meetings and tried to introduce myself to students also in attendance at that meeting. Finally, the day of voting and announcement of the officers arrived.

After a few hours of voting and other business handled, the results of the election were announced. I was blessed to be named not only an officer but president.

I am so grateful for someone that saw potential in me to grow through a unique opportunity and was not afraid to share that vision with me. Because of his words of encouragement, that elected position gave me so many opportunities that would have been foreign to me had he never inspired me. I have come to learn even more so that beauty not only involves the cultivation of ourselves but also the ability to treat others as the person they have potential to become--beautiful.

Allowing Taunts turn into Triumphs

2010-01-21T17:57:00.000-08:00

"There are no failures--just experiences and your reactions to them." - Tom Krause

A few years ago, I decided that I wanted to run and jump competitively. So, I began repetitive sprints and training for the long jump event. After training for a few weeks, I was entered into a competition.

That competition began with me familiarizing myself with the long jump pit. I tightened my pink cleats and took a deep breath. I was ready to go.

The judge for the competition called my name to come forward. I stepped onto the asphalt run way and took a moment to get in position to build momentum. At the moment I felt ready, I began running full force forward and jumped at the sight of the white line ahead. I landed and found that I had only jumped a few feet. To most people, this would be quite a disappointment. To me, however, this was an accomplishment, for I had not been training for very long and felt that this was a good starting place to build my efforts upon. The judge, however, accused me, saying, "Quit screwing around, and try again." Feeling a little taken back by his response, I obeyed.

Again and again, I found myself running full force ahead but not lifting my legs high enough to gain distance in the pit. The judge, not satisfied after three jumps, became even more angry and in a very vocal tone let me know of his disappointment in my "laziness."

I was quite shaken and spent the next few minutes with the determination to give up on my dream. I called my dad in order to gain sympathy and support for my decision but was met instead with wise counsel. "Em, you can take what the judge said personally and fail because you gave up, or you can use that judge's comments as motivation to do better." As difficult as those words of counsel were to handle at the time, they later helped me fulfill my dream.

Two years later, I found myself running in a varsity cross country competition. At this meet, I had to push myself through sand and sprints to be the first member of my team across the finish line. The happiness of that moment came from the recognition that I had not allowed that judge's remarks to stop me from doing what I had dreamed. Had I allowed myself to become bitter about the comments given to me by a judge that did not know of my novice background, I would have missed out on the opportunity to see how far I could go through determination and endurance.

In life, we always will have critics that seem to keep us from becoming our beautiful in some way or another. Not allowing the criticism to hold us back, now that is beautiful. :j

Modesty

2009-11-01T16:36:00.000-08:00

"Our clothing is more than just covering for our bodies; it reflects who we are and what we want to be, both here in mortality and in the eternities that will follow." - Elder Robert D. Hales, "Modesty," Liahona August 2008.

"As modesty becomes the virtue that regulates and moderates action in our lives, we too will find an increased sense of self-worth."
“Modesty: A Timeless Principle for All” by Sister Silvia H. Allred, July 2009 Liahona

A few years ago, I was accepted to be on a modeling team that would wear modest bridal gowns and prom gowns on runways to advertise for popular dress shop in a big city in my home state. To be on this team, you had to fill out an application that required you to give a personal statement on your duty to modesty and then to also have an accompanied letter of recommendation from someone that could further declare whether or not your lived a life of modesty. So, I was very humbled to be accepted to this position.

The first meeting on the team, we were praised and thanked for a good portion of twenty minutes for our decision and commitment to modesty. Then, within the same speech, we were asked to sign forms that would give the company permission to dress us in immodest and very revealing gowns for fashion shows because "our light as models would make these gowns look better" and "so that those that do not believe in modesty feel left out." In essence, we were being asked to sign away our commitments to modesty for a few moments of spotlight on a stage.

I was blessed to recognize the severity of what these model coaches were asking me to do. I opted not to sign the form and declared that I would only model gowns that were modest. To my sorrow, many of my friends on the team signed the form and agreed to model immodest gown.

From that meeting, my modeling standards were well known among the model coaches.I was blessed to receive a phone call from the coaches a couple of months after my declaration. They told me that the major newspaper for the southern part of my state was looking for two models--one to dress in an immodest prom gown and another to wear a modest gown for a photo shoot that would be displayed in an upcoming newspaper. They wanted me to be their modest model. I learned that when one does her best to live her standards, she is blessed with opportunities to share her standards with others.

Being modest is more than wearing something that fits a certain standard. It is recognizing the sacred nature of your body and doing your best to wear clothing that shows respect for yourself. True beauty is not found in the clothing itself; it is emanated through the person that is wearing the clothes.

Influences on Young Girls' Self-Esteem--Opinion

2009-05-08T18:18:00.001-07:00

To begin, what is self-esteem? As defined by Laura E. Berk, self-esteem is “the aspect of self-concept that involves judgments about one’s own worth and the feelings associated with those judgments.” Self-esteem, then, is essentially how a girl feels about herself and the way she reacts to how she feels about herself.
How many girls or women suffer from lack of self-esteem?

According to a 1996 study, an estimated 80 percent of young adult U.S. women were dissatisfied with their appearance, and particularly their weight. But an estimated 10 million women and girls, and a million boys and men, have slipped beyond dissatisfaction into life-threatening battles with anorexia and bulimia, according to studies. (Whittelsey)

The problem with low self-esteem is evidenced by the way a young girl reacts to her low self-esteem. A way that some girls react to their low self-esteem is through eating disorders. Girls that have low self-esteem and an eating disorder may eventually experience difficulty having children while some suffer depression. Though the side-effects of eating disorders may differ, the issue of negative self-esteem in young girls is real and serious.

But where is the negative self-esteem rooting from? Is it the family or the media? Personally, I believe that both greatly affect young girls. In addition to family, though, I feel that friends play an integral part.

First, I would like to discuss friends and family. As mentioned earlier, Ellen’s father had a greatly negative impact on her self-esteem. I currently know of individuals that suffer from low self-esteem and find that these individuals also have family members that tell them how they need to watch their weight.

Fortunately, I was raised in a home that promotes positive self-esteem. When I was leaving kindergarten, I remember visiting with my mother one night about beauty. I told my mother that I did not feel that I was beautiful. My mother’s words then changed my perception of myself as she said, “Beauty is as beauty does.” Because my mother told me this as a young child, I have connected my self-esteem to that of service and helping others around me.

About ten years after that experience, I had an individual that I looked up to tell me that I had a chubby face as a younger girl. Had my mother not helped me to recognize and obtain my own perception of self-esteem at a young age, the comment made by this person would have caused a great toll on my self-esteem.

In addition to family members, friends can play a huge role in the development of self-esteem. One of the popular friendship mediums today is that of Facebook.
"Among young adults, relationships with peers are important both for generating offline benefits, commonly referred to as social capital, and for psychosocial development. Social capital is an elastic construct used to describe the benefits one receives from one's relationships with other people. [Studies] suggest that intense Facebook use is closely related to the formation and maintenance of social capital…young people with lower self-esteem appeared to benefit more from their use of Facebook than those with higher self-esteem." (Steinfield)

I admit that I am a Facebook user and that it is a fun way to stay connected with friends and family members that are away. However, I know of someone from my hometown that suffers from low self-esteem and uses Facebook as a way to receive validation and acceptance with his peers. His comments online are usually risqué and demeaning of himself in order to intrigue people to comment on his wall. I see his use of Facebook as a means of improving his self-esteem as detrimental if a person were to post a negative comment on his wall.

In addition to friends and family, the media really does have a negative impact on self-esteem. Darryl Roberts, an individual from television himself, commented, “Everywhere you look, we're sold the promise that if you're beautiful, your life will be better” (Whittelsey). I can turn on the television and see an ad for new diet pills depicting a woman that was once large and is now extremely thin and happy. Also, I was quite appalled by the media’s reaction to the death of porn star Anna Nicole Smith a few years ago. Of course a death is sad, but it seemed that news stations were depicting her as a saint that had just left the earth. I wonder how many girls noticed the attention that her death received and took a mental note of how they would like to be depicted when they died someday.

In a world where families, friends, and the media can have an impact on self-esteem, it is no wonder to me that apostles and general authorities have discussed and warned young women about their self-esteem. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once said:

I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves.... We are all different…but as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]” And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies.”

Truly every daughter of God has worth too great to ever count. Through proper teaching, girls do not have to suffer from low self-esteem. How grateful I am for my Savior who showed me my worth by suffering for my sins and trials and dying for me. Through His infinite Atonement, every young girl that has or ever will suffer from the negative influences of the media, family, and friends can be made whole and know that she is a true daughter of God with great individual worth.

Influences on Young Girls' Self-Esteem--Family

2009-05-08T18:16:00.000-07:00

Although the media may influence the self-esteem of a girl, perhaps a greater influence on a young girl is that of her family. According to Jean Illsley Clarke, “When people talk about what they want to improve in their families, several topics come up again and again... self-esteem includes each of these topics in some way.” The family is the place where values and morals are established in a young girl. If her family is continually providing a negative environment, a negative view of life and self is very likely.

Take for example the story of a dancer named Ellen:
My Dad always, always comments on my body - probably since I was about ten. He would say, 'You need to lose weight. You need to watch what you eat.' He had this image of what I had to be. Probably the most hurtful experience was when I was a freshman. My family was visiting for the dance concert and we were going out to dinner. My dad pinched every area of fat on my body. It was in public. It wasn't in private. It was the most embarrassing, most mortifying thing ever…I thought, 'If you're going to do that, then I'm going to eat a chili dog, chili fries, and a shake. (Heiland)

Because Ellen’s father was so particular about Ellen’s weight, her way of coping with this negative reaction to her weight was to continue to eat junk food. Ellen’s way of thinking could possibly lead to obesity and lower self-esteem as she interacted with others.

Though the media portrays women as objects, girls can turn off the television or turn their head from an advertisement. On the other hand, Ellen cannot hide from her father nor can young girls that experience negative family influence on their appearance. Girls that have fathers and family members like Ellen have to live with their negative influence all day, every day.

Influences on Young Girls’ Self-Esteem- Media

2009-05-08T17:42:00.000-07:00

For one of my classes in college, I was asked to write about how the media influences an aspect of society. I chose to do some research on how the media influences the self-esteem in girls. The results were quite surprising. The first two parts "Media" and "Family" are simply research, while "Opinion" my researched opinion.

“The statistics are startling. The average North American girl will watch 5,000 hours of television, including 80,000 ads, before she starts kindergarten” (Media). The scariest part of this quote is not necessarily how much television she is watching but rather what she is watching. According to the same article, “The most cursory examination of media confirms that young girls are being bombarded with images of sexuality, often dominated by stereotypical portrayals of women and girls as powerless, passive victims.” Every day, girls see images and portrayals of women through the media “in which their bodies are objectified” (Heiland). After seeing these portrayals, girls then examine themselves to see if they, too, fit the mold that the world has created.

According to Teresa L. Heiland:
An ad can cause a reaction in a young woman that is detrimental to her body and her self-esteem. The external cues overpower the internal hunger signals and can bring a young woman to decrease calorie intake, or to over-eat due to anxiety caused by the external cue; “Eating in response to external cues rather than internal hunger signals is one of the first steps involved in the development of disordered eating.”

Girls that constantly view the images portrayed by the media as what each girl “should” look like not only risk developing eating disorders but also find themselves more likely to engage in immorality due to the misconstrued opinion that they have about themselves through the influence of the media. “…Those who continue to consume media images are strongly influenced ‘by stereotypical images of uniformly beautiful, obsessively thin and scantily dressed objects of male desire. And studies show that girls who are frequent viewers have the most negative opinion of their gender’” (Heiland). The media can change a girl’s opinion and view of herself and thereby lower her self-esteem.

(sources for all three parts)

Berk, Laura E. Child Development. 8. United States: Pearson Education, Inc., 2009. G-8. Print.

Clarke, Jean Illsley. Self-Esteem: A Family Affair. Hazelden Publishing, 1998. Page 5. Print.

Heiland, Teresa L, Darrin S. Murray , and Paige P. Edley . "Body Image of Dancers in Los Angeles: The Cult of Slenderness and Media Influence Among Dance Students." Research in Dance Education Nov. 2008 257 - 275. Web.13 April 2009. .

Holland, Jeffrey R. "To Young Women." Liahona Nov. 2005 28-30. Web. 15 Apr 2009. .

"Media and Girls." 2009 Media Awareness Network Web.15 Apr 2009. .

Steinfield, Charles, Nicole B. Ellisona , and Cliff Lampea. "Social Capital, Self-Esteem, and Use of Online Social Network Sites: A Longitudinal Analysis." Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology. Volume 29 issue 6 (2008): 434 -445. Web. 13 April 2009.

Whittelsey, Frances C. "'America the Beautiful' Probes Fashion's Ugly Side." 28 Oct. 2008 Web.13 Apr 2009.

Punctuality

2009-04-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

“As you put into practice the qualities of patience, punctuality, sincerity, and solicitude, you will have a better opinion of the world around you”- Grenville Kleiser

“I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence...”- Charles Dickens

While serving as president of my state's Business Professionals of America, one of the very first things my adviser told me as president was, “To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late... well, don't see Mrs. Neal (my adviser)!" After seeing this rule broken by one of my fellow peers, I learned very quickly that I was to be at least ten minutes early for all of my meetings and activities. I, as president, have a responsibility to be a good example by being on time.

One afternoon, my adviser and I went on a small excursion to visit someone in a neighboring town. We left early enough to make it to our destination on time. Due to the outdated GPS system that we were following,however, we found ourselves lost. By the time we reached our destination, the person we had come to meet with had been waiting about fifteen minutes.

Personally, I did not feel so badly for being late... after all, it was Tracking-System Sally's fault. Mrs. Neal, however, repeatedly apologized to the young lady we had come to see. She felt the commitment she made to meet with this young lady at a specific time was not kept due to the tardiness of our arrival. If punctuality was important to her at that moment, I feel that is is important for me, too. Truly one cannot be fully beautiful until she has become a master of her time.

Exemplifying Beauty-1

2009-04-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

I feel that one of the best ways to share my knowledge of "becoming your beautiful" is through sharing stories of people I know or know of that have taught me what true beauty is. This is the first of many that I will share.

My Great-Grandma Alice was born in 1901. She was the granddaughter of Joseph F. Smith (Former President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and the daughter of Joseph Nelson (former owner of Salt Air in Salt Lake City, UT). Alice was the only daughter born in her family that lived to adulthood.

At the age of three, Alice was walking down the sidewalk with her mother to deliver pies to relatives. On their voyage in the neighborhood, two of Alice's uncles stopped the two pie deliverers and began teasing them. Alice, not knowing the teasing nature of her uncles, felt that the men were endangering her mother. Without a moment's hesitation, she lashed out and bit one of the men on the leg. Both uncles stared with amazement at little Alice. Needless to say, Alice and her mother delivered the pies, safely.

Alice truly looked up to her mother immensely. When Alice was six-years-old and about to celebrate Christmas, her mother gave birth to a girl. Both the baby girl and her mother died, leaving Alice to be raised by her widowed father and two older brothers.

As Alice grew, people would comment on her appearance. Alice's mother had been known for her striking dark hair and pure beauty. When people would comment on Alice, they would say that she "looked like her mother, but not as beautiful." Personally, I saw my Grandma Alice before her death and thought her quite beautiful. These negative remarks by others did not stop Alice, though.

Alice's father believed that she should receive the best education that she could. When Alice's local teacher proved to be unable to teach proper mathematics, her father sent her to live with J. Reuben Clark's family in the East. She learned and excelled in her education.

Alice grew up even more and married John B. Cannon. Since she had lost her mother at an early age, Alice wanted her children to have a mother in their lives. She was able to raise a large family, including my Grandpa John.

In Alice's older years, she and her husband decided to travel to some family graves. On the journey, their car got stuck in mud, and they were forced to leave their vehicle in order to get help. They had not brought with them any coats, and they had become stuck in the mountains. As night fell, they sought refuge amidst some rocks.

The next day, Alice and her husband searched and searched for help. They found no one.

The next morning, Alice awoke to see her husband frozen to death. Alice then had a choice to remain with her husband and die or to find a way to live. She thought of her posterity and how much they would need her great example. So, she left her husband's body and walked to find a safer place to stay until help would arrive. She broke into a cabin that had been deserted for the winter and lived off of a jar of jelly, a can of peaches, and snow until rescuers found her. When asked why she did not go through the cupboards of the cabin to eat the food that was there in order to stay alive, Alice declared that she felt that doing that was stealing, and she did not want to steal from the owners of the cabin.

Alice's rescue was quite miraculous, but not without pain. She had to have part of one foot and half of another leg amputated due to frostbite. With this handicap, however, Alice refused to sit in a wheelchair and taught herself how to walk in a way that she would not need assistance.

Until the day she died, Alice stood as an example of true beauty--determination, humility, courage, selflessness, etc. At her tallest, she stood 4'10", but she was a giant to me because of her example of beautiful.

Forgiveness

2009-03-16T16:10:00.001-07:00

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

-Mark Twain

I love Mark Twain’s thought. Learning to forgive is one of the most challenging obstacles I have met while trying to become my beautiful. I would like to share a story with you in hopes of helping you on your quest.

As I was going through the later years of my pre-and secondary education, there were many people that were going through the typical-teenage emotional changes. With these emotional changes taking control, I seemed to be bullied and taunted by those around me. Every day, I would pray for the hearts of my enemies to be changed. After many prayers and no resolutions, I came to the conclusion that if I wanted people to be nice to me that I had to reach out to them with love and care. So, my quest for true forgiveness began.

I began by trying to smile and say hi to people that I came across—whether I knew them or not. At first, I got strange looks from people wondering what I was up to. After becoming habituated to seeing me walk by with a hello, people started replying back with kind gestures. Soon, I even found myself stopping to visit with people that I had never taken the time previously to get to know!

I admit that this process was not easy…nor was it fast. It took between five and six years for me to finally become friends with some people. But by the time six years had come, I had come to love and know most of the people that had mistreated me in the past as wonderful, amazing, and talented individuals. Leaving my secondary education, I had no grudges towards anyone.

Grudges are ties to the past that keep us from progressing in the present and hold us back in the future. How can we truly become beautiful if we do not open our hearts to forgiving those that cause us harm? It is impossible to “become your beautiful” while holding a grudge. In my experience—and even to this day—if I allow a grudge to remain, I not only cannot progress in becoming a better person but also regress.

In the process of eliminating grudges, however, it is ok to still feel pain. Having someone treat you unfairly hurts—that is the truth. The true marksmanship of a person that forgives is best summed up by Lewis B. Smedes, saying, “You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”

On your journey of becoming your beautiful, may you find a place in your heart that is large enough to forgive those that offend you and in the process find that “to forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” (Robert Muller).

Eating Do's and Don'ts

2009-03-16T15:41:00.000-07:00

"Manners maketh man." - William of Wykeham

Part of "becoming your beautiful" is that of always acting your beautiful, or at your best. I was state president of an organization called Business Professionals of America for a year. During the course of the year, I was invited to a legislative luncheon. I will write more about this event later in my blog. In preparing for the legislative luncheon, I was schooled in etiquette. Here are some things that I learned:

1) When you sit down to eat, you may see multiple forks on the left-hand side of the plate. Do not worry! Just remember to work from the outside in. Begin using the farthest fork from your plate as you eat your salad or whatever appetizer that is served.

2) You will also see a napkin either next to your plate or creatively folded in your cup. It is an excellent idea to place the napkin in your lap; however, you must be aware of the time of day in deciding how to place your napkin in your lap. If it is breakfast, keep the napkin folded in its quarter-fold state. If it is lunch, keep the napkin only folded in its half-folded state. During dinner, completely unfold the napkin. These simple napkin tips will help improve your eating etiquette immediately.

3) There are times, especially during breakfast, that you will have two cups at your plate. One cup will be for the main beverage that is served, and the other one may be for coffee or tea. Usually the coffee/tea cup is left empty until you pour the beverage into your cup or a waiter comes to pour the beverage in the cup for you. If you do not drink coffee or tea, the kindest way to refuse the beverage is to simply turn your cup upside down. This allows the waiter and others to know that you are not interested in the beverage without creating a big scene over your choice.

4) If you are trying to eat healthy and want only minimal dressing on your salad, ask politely for your dressing to be on the side. Once you receive your salad and dressing, dip your fork tines in the dressing before picking up a leaf of lettuce. By so doing, you will be able to still add taste to your salad without an abundance of sodium or sugar.

5) Do not talk with your mouth full of food. There are many conversations that do not become as stimulating as they have the potential to become because a person is speaking with food in their mouth. The habit of eating with food in your mouth is easy to begin but just as easy to break! Remember to be mindful of this during your meal.

6) If you need to yawn, it is best to cover your mouth while you are yawning. This keeps those in your attendance from acknowledging your yawn too much, and the act of covering your mouth also is respectful to the speaker (as the speaker will not feel that you are openly yawning to show your boredom of the discussion).

7) After you use your utensils, place the utensils on your plate--even if you are still eating. By placing your knife and fork down on the sides of your plate, you avoid getting the table setting dirty and appear to have even greater eating etiquette.

8) When you get a roll on your plate and would like to add butter, do not cut your roll and place a slab of butter inside. Instead, the proper way to eat your roll with butter is to place the slab of butter on the side of your plate while occasionally breaking the roll and buttering each piece of the roll before eating the piece. In other words, butter each piece of the roll separately.

9) While eating, I sometimes find myself placing my elbows or wrists on the table to rest while I enjoy my delicious food. This is a very bad etiquette habit. Instead of placing wrists and elbows on the table, I have learned that it is better to sit up straight during the meal and practice balancing arms in a way to avoid placing them on the table. No one wants to have another person's elbows in his or her food. Avoid this embarrassment by trying now to not be casual with your arms.

The next time you are asked to either eat dinner with the Governor or eat breakfast with your family, remember these small tips on proper eating. You will find yourself gaining more respect and dignity for yourself after incorporating proper eating etiquette into your life.

Smile

2009-01-23T08:39:00.000-08:00

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. - Phyllis Diller

Smiling is one of the best things someone can do to improve their beauty. No one likes to be around a person that cannot smile. Smiling can be caused by endorphins and cause endorphins. Even when you cannot think of a reason to smile, just smile anyways. Your ability to simply fake a smile can send endorphins to your brain to make you think that you are happy. Soon enough, you are.

One of the phrases that also comes to my mind is "Just grin and bear it." Life can be hard sometimes. Speaking from personal experience, smiling can make the pain easier to handle. When I am feeling down, one of my grandmothers quickly reminds me to smile. Simply stated, smiling really does "(set) everything straight."

But, having confidence to smile is hard when you are experiencing bad dental hygiene. If you do not properly care for your teeth, you can obtain gingivitis-- swelling and irritation of the gums. If the gingivitis is not properly treated for, the condition can worsen into what is known as periodontitis-- a disease that eats away at the blood vessels in your gums and then enables bacteria to be seeped into your bloodstream. Poor dental hygiene can also lead to heart disease. In addition to health reasons, dental hygiene is also important in a social aspect.

About three years ago, I gave a speech instructing about proper dental hygiene in the business world in front of three prominent business leaders in Idaho. After my presentation, they commented on my performance. Of the three commentators, two were completely positive, and one was quite negative. I read the negative judge's critique in order to discover the reasoning behind such a negative response. To my surprise, it read, " Being a male, I find it hard to relate to your topic."

Since that experience, many men have reassured me that dental hygiene is important to them. But, can you believe that such a prominent person would not find dental hygiene of value? I don't want this situation to be ever be said of anyone else, so here are a few tips on how to keep those pearly whites clean and healthy.

First, when you begin brushing your teeth, get a small amount of water on your toothbrush, and begin brushing. Make sure to brush from the tip of the gum to the bottom of the tooth-- including front and back. This will eliminate plaque that has built on your teeth (by the way, plaque is a combination of mucus and bacteria that gathers on your teeth to produce a rough feel when your tongue slides across the enamel). Also, be gentle when you brush as the harder you brush the more apt you are to inflaming your gums.

After brushing with only water, you can then add toothpaste. The toothpaste serves merely to polish your teeth and freshen your breath. Personally, I like to use mouthwash in replace of toothpaste as it accomplishes the same goal.

Remember to floss at least once a day, and when in between brushing, you can use sugar-free gum to keep your mouth clean.

With a clean and healthy smile...share it with the world! They say that smiling is contagious, so pass it on!

Behind "Becoming Your Beautiful"

2009-01-14T10:23:00.000-08:00

The world seems to define beauty as being "skin deep." I have come to find a different definition of beauty. Instead, beauty, in my opinion, is a culmination of efforts to improve the individual inside and out.

This beauty, as defined, then could be thought of as a process rather than a single event. Two objectives I have for this site are 1) provide information and insights that will help you "become your beautiful," and 2) learn from your experiences and advice. With our combined efforts, self-confidence can be increased, lives enriched, and true beauty cherished.

Stay tuned...

Confidence in Taking a Stand

2009-01-13T23:56:00.001-08:00

"Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts."- Aristotle

There are two aspects to standing that I feel are important: 1) standing for a reason and 2) knowing how to stand with correct posture. First and foremost, let's discuss standing for a reason.

I really like how Aristotle explained "moral excellence" as a habit rather than single event. Just because you may stand up for something you believe in today does not mean that you will not be asked to stand up for something tomorrow. For example, it is like being on a baseball team. You may be a pitcher, left-fielder, batter, or catcher. At the moment the ball is coming in your direction, the way you react NOW is important! Now is the time you can cause an out, in, point, or strike. The more you react in a positive way, however, the better and more accurate of a player you become. Likewise, the more you stand up for things you believe in, the easier it becomes. Just as a hitter gets an adrenaline rush as he hears the ball making contact with the bat, you, too, will feel a great amount of satisfaction for taking a stand.

Another important part of taking a stand deals with posture. According to cure-back-pain.org, a person's posture can affect his or her back pain. Admittedly, this is an area that I can improve on. So, how do you stand with correct posture? I like to imagine being in a circus tent and having ropes that are connected to the ceiling attached to my collar bone. By feeling the slight lift from the ropes, you will find that you instantly align into correct posture. In addition to being correct posture, standing with correct posture helps you to appear taller and more confident.

With the combination of correct posture and taking a stand for what you believe in, the process of "becoming your beautiful" will progress with leaps and bounds. With all things, these two activities take practice and dedication. But, I promise that posture and "moral excellence" provide countless dividends from the point you start and the rest of your life.